Another note: This class jams so much in 2.5 hours a week... and sometimes I can't wait for it to be over in December. Constantly thinking about this stuff is exhausting.
In life there is always a crazy paradox between life and death. In order to truly live, you have to be open to the idea that some parts of you will die (or need to die) along the way in order for you to truly live. But there will also be parts of you that die that you might need to reclaim along the way.
We all know that one of the Ten Commandments says that thall shalt not kill. What we don't realize is that we (unintentionally) kill all the time. "There are all sorts of ways of murdering a person or at least his soul, and that's something no police in the world can spot... I should like to see the person who cannot be killed by a smile, or by saying nothing... Haven't you ever wondered, my dear Knobel, why so many people are interested in a real murder?... It's quite obvious: because we generally don't see our daily murders. So it's a relief when there's a bang for once, when blood flows, or when someone dies of real poison, not merely of his wife's silence" (Pg. 109).
In who's killing have we played a part in? Have we done this to someone recently? Are we doing it now??? How am I killing the people in my life?
"Anyone who is always seeing himself as a victim, it seems to me, never gets wise to himself, and that's not healthy. Cause and effect are never divided between two people, certainly not between a husband and wife, even though it may sometimes look like it" (Pg. 115).
Cause and effect are never divided between two people... in other words... it is never just one person's fault. What often happens is that one person just sees themselves as the innocent bystander and just reacts to the other person without stepping back to see what they brought to the situation. What have you done to the other person???
You can't try and change anyone. The sooner you accept that the better off you will be, especially in relationships. You can't try to change the other person... but at the same time you can't just let them keep doing the very things that are shooting them in the foot. You each have to work to bring something new to the table! You can't just stay silent. So you have to say BOTH things.... I am attracted to you because of this... but I also see the areas that you need to work on but I accept that you need to work on this yourself. I can be your support but I can't force a change.
Trying to change you for me is murder.
"'Thou shalt not make unto thee any image'. Every image is a sin... When you love someone you leave every possibility open to them, and in spite of all the memories of the past you are ready to be surprised, again and again surprised, at how different they arem how various, not a finished image such as you have made..." (Pg. 130).
This is such a huge temptation to do in any relationship that you have. Friendship, love, family, what have you. Let's take marriage... after you've been married for 30 years you think, oh I know him/her like the back of my hand. That is a dangerous thought. You still need to surprise each other and still need to keep your eyes and mind open to really SEE the other person. Humans are so complex that as the onion (aka us) unravels we see new facets of the person but only if we keep our eyes/mind open. Let others surprise you!!
We have to learn how to die. We need to learn how to venture within ourselves, to illuminate our brokenness that is screwing up our ability to love and we have to fight with ourselves and let those parts of ourself die. The great human challenge is knowing how to die so we can love the people we live with and truly live.
Venturing into ourselves not just about illuminating the bad within us... it also shows us the good within ourselves that we cannot possibly know without venturing. You can't discover yourself truly if you become idle and say that you are always the same. Don't be afraid of the venturing. Surround yourself with support and tread into the unknown.
Live authentically.
1 comment:
I know what you mean. 3 hour classes have become my life! I think I'm going to have at least one every semester for the rest of my college career. Anyway, that's some pretty nifty stuff. Definitely good to think about. I wouldn't mind seeing more.
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