Epiphanies occur at random times!

In nursing school we are taught how to take care of our patients in the hospital. We are taught about diseases and their manifestations, their complications, and how to effectively manage or treat them. We’re taught how to position and reposition patients in their beds, how to give a proper bed bath, how to correctly administer drugs. We practice in the clinical lab. There are five beds and five dummies. Five curtains, five bedside tables, five O2 machines.

But here’s the thing… that’s not how life really is! Diseases manifest differently in each patient, complications arise with no warning, and it’s much harder to reposition that 250 lb COPD patient than it was to reposition your 140lb healthy classmate. Bed baths will always be uncomfortable for you and the recipient, and your patient will never act like a dummy unless he or she is unconscious and then you’ve got a problem on your hands.

LIFE IS MESSY!
I don’t know how many times I’ve said/thought that but just five minutes ago I had this epiphany. Life is messy. And it’s not going to get any un-messier. This doesn’t just go for the hospital setting. Friendships, relationships, school, work, family, what have you… it’s all not going to be black and white. Personally, I like black and white. I like knowing what is right and what is wrong. I’m also always right. So this whole “life is messy” thing can seriously mess with my mind. And it has, it currently is, and it will in the future.

And even though I wish everything was black and white with no shades of grey, if I force myself to try and see objectively, I think that would take a lot of the fun out of life. Take relationships as an example. Without those shades of grey… where would the fun be? I think the fights, the cuddling, the good times, the bad times, the boring times, the sad times, and all the times in between are what make a relationship so special. That goes for our relationship with God. What fun would it be if we had a set of very specific guidelines to follow to make our way to Jesus? No fun! And we don’t. God made it that way for a reason!

So, life is messy. But here’s the thing, I’m not going to stop my life and try to make it black and white. I’m not going to drive myself crazy trying to figure out the “right” way to do something. That’s a waste of time. And it prevents my ability to change and adapt to life. I don’t want my life to get stuck in a routine. Don’t get me wrong here, routine can be a good thing but routine can also stop you from experiencing all of the joy that life has to offer. Routine can stop you from truly appreciating this AMAZING world that God created for us. It can stop us from being amazed by God ALL THE TIME even though we should be. And it can stop us from meeting new people, from trying new opportunities that come along, and from opening ourselves up to others and experiencing the joy and pain that comes with it.

I’ll end with some quotes. Yes, there is one from Grey’s Anatomy. Just because I know how much you all love it.

“Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop
Doesn’t mean I will cross.”
-Lost! By Coldplay

“Knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying.”

“Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. So, you can waste your life drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.”
-Grey’s Anatomy

And I was just reading this verse the other night and I just wanted to share it, especially during this time of Lent.
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?”
Mark 8:34-37