There is something seriously wrong with me. I feel trapped, but I shouldn't.
Let me explain.
Change is not something that comes easily to me. I don't know if anyone else is like that, but it is a HUGE internal struggle for me to accept change. Here are some examples. I like my bean burritos with no cheese and very little beans, I like my Beef Crunchwrap Supreme with no tomatoes, no cheese sauce, and no sour cream, and finally I used to (and sometimes still do) take the cheese and sauce off my pizza with a napkin and eat just the bread part. Oh, and I like my ham and cheese omlettes with no cheese and very little ham. I know what I want and I know what I like. I've had strange eating habits for as long as I can remember and they aren't going to change any time soon.
But this new change can really feel like a downer sometimes. And it shouldn't. It should be so completely awesome, a lot of people have already told me so. And so I feel like I'm in the wrong, I'm the one who is completely out of my mind. Even I can easily call myself crazy. But I can't shake whatever it is I'm feeling. It's hard to be honest with yourself. I guess I'm just attempting to write out my thoughts here. I really need a diary.
I feel like I'm in a Robert Frost poem. "Two roads diverged in a wood..."
But one road is being awfully unresponsive.
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Edit
This post seemed like a downer and slightly annoying. But I feel better having worked some thoughts out. So here is a funny video that I found. They have other funny videos and I will be posting them here a little at a time. This is for the Lost fans.
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