It is currently Sunday night. The time is 11:02 pm. In approximately 9 hours my finals will begin. Finals schedule is as follows:
MONDAY, MAY 10TH
0800-1000 - Nursing310 - Pediatric Nursing
1030-1230 - Bible102 - New Testament
TUESDAY, MAY 11TH
0800-1000 - Nursing330 - OB/GYN
WEDNESDAY, MAY 12TH
1300-1500 - Sociology360 - Race & Ethnicity
Oh boy. Then on Wednesday/Thursday I will clean, patch holes, and do some minor painting in the apartment and then GO HOME!!!!! I literally cannot wait to be home. I'm going to miss school and some of the people here but it's time for summer. It's time to relax. It's time for summer school and summer jobs and summer lovin'.
In other news, I have been (voluntarily) unable to access my facebook account. And I really really really want to go on facebook. I can't tell if I want to go on just to see what everyone is up to or if I just want to log on to put off studying for just a little while longer.
Good luck to everyone on their finals quest!!!!!!
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Grandma Rose
Hey all... I'm sure if you're one of the people reading this I have already texted you with some bad news about my "Grandma" Rose and asked for your prayers but it definitely warrants a blog post.
So Rose isn't actually my Grandma. Rose is my mom's best friend's mom... that might be a little confusing but basically that whole family (including Rose) has known me since I was born. Rose has suffered a lot of health problems including diabetes, breast cancer, vision problems, etc. Recently she hasn't been in the best of health (actually horrible health) so this episode isn't really a surprise but it stinks all the same. This morning Jill (Rose's daughter) found Rose on the floor when she went in to bring Rose her morning coffee. The ambulance was called and the doctors found that Rose had suffered a stroke and had intracranial bleeding. She is currently in the ICU at St. Mary's Hospital and it really doesn't look good. The doctors have told the family to start saying their goodbyes.
I'm not asking for a miracle healing here. Just your prayers for Rose and everyone who loves her.
So Rose isn't actually my Grandma. Rose is my mom's best friend's mom... that might be a little confusing but basically that whole family (including Rose) has known me since I was born. Rose has suffered a lot of health problems including diabetes, breast cancer, vision problems, etc. Recently she hasn't been in the best of health (actually horrible health) so this episode isn't really a surprise but it stinks all the same. This morning Jill (Rose's daughter) found Rose on the floor when she went in to bring Rose her morning coffee. The ambulance was called and the doctors found that Rose had suffered a stroke and had intracranial bleeding. She is currently in the ICU at St. Mary's Hospital and it really doesn't look good. The doctors have told the family to start saying their goodbyes.
I'm not asking for a miracle healing here. Just your prayers for Rose and everyone who loves her.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
"I will swat the flies..... that are your BS"
"There comes a point in your life when you get tired of fixing everything and trying to make everyone happy. When you finally decide to quit, it's NOT giving up. It's realizing you don't need certain people and the bullshit they bring in to your life."
Well hello there Grey's Anatomy quote. It's literally perfect for describing my rooming situation. As of May 12th I am FREEEEEE!
Here comes another list because my brain is too pooped to do anything else:
1. Only 30 more days of school (including weekends and finals). Not that I'm counting or anything.
2. I have two 10+ page papers (nursing and sociology), a 3 page bible paper, 8 chapters of reading, a case study to prepare and present, one write-up, one grad check appointment, and one leadership paper to do. All due on or before Monday. FML.
3. I have eaten more candy in the past 3 days than should be legally allowed.
4. This really should be number one... but I miss David. All. the. freaking. time.
5. Can you get senioritis when you're a junior? Because my mind is completely beyond focusing and if you read #2 above you can see why that is a BIG problem.
6. I am stressing about graduating on time. However, that is not in my hands anymore.
7. What? Shiny?
8. God is good. All the time.
What can I do about all of this RIGHT NOW at this moment? Put my head down and work hard. Pray. Don't forget to schedule in fun. Get through the last THIRTY days of escuela. And remember, it will all be just fine in the end.
Well hello there Grey's Anatomy quote. It's literally perfect for describing my rooming situation. As of May 12th I am FREEEEEE!
Here comes another list because my brain is too pooped to do anything else:
1. Only 30 more days of school (including weekends and finals). Not that I'm counting or anything.
2. I have two 10+ page papers (nursing and sociology), a 3 page bible paper, 8 chapters of reading, a case study to prepare and present, one write-up, one grad check appointment, and one leadership paper to do. All due on or before Monday. FML.
3. I have eaten more candy in the past 3 days than should be legally allowed.
4. This really should be number one... but I miss David. All. the. freaking. time.
5. Can you get senioritis when you're a junior? Because my mind is completely beyond focusing and if you read #2 above you can see why that is a BIG problem.
6. I am stressing about graduating on time. However, that is not in my hands anymore.
7. What? Shiny?
8. God is good. All the time.
What can I do about all of this RIGHT NOW at this moment? Put my head down and work hard. Pray. Don't forget to schedule in fun. Get through the last THIRTY days of escuela. And remember, it will all be just fine in the end.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Carry Out
This semester was officially at its halfway point last Tuesday. And, as a graduating senior told me today, there are 36 school days left. Holy moly guacamole!!!! One part of me feels like it was just yesterday that I became a junior and now I'm THIS CLOSE to becoming a senior. It's mind blowing.
I don't know what is happening to my brain but it is almost impossible for me to complete a simple task anymore. I'm having to literally force myself to do work. It's worse than before. I'm doing papers the night before. Putting off doing clinical paperwork to do... nothing. Starting my studying the night before a test. (Okay, fine. That one isn't any different.) Last night studying was the worst. I either need to have a dance party every half hour to burn away some energy so I can sit still or I need to listen to music or read quotes while I study. Neither method is what you could call time efficient.
However there is a happy note to this post. I'm finally starting to see the beauty of Point Loma again. You'd think it would be pretty hard to miss but I was missing it. Living off campus it's easy to disconnect from campus. It's actually incredibly easy. But last Tuesday my intramural team and I watched the sun set and the incredible beauty that I'm around almost every day suddenly struck me again. Yeaaah baby.
My advising appointment is on Friday morning. I have to take two full semesters next year and at least one summer school class to graduate on time. Please pray that my schedule will work out and I can graduate on time. :)
This one definitely made me miss volleyball.
Sure theres the wind sprints, suicides, mile runs, max-out days, and months of conditioning that make us wonder why we, as athletes, keep giving 110 percent day in and day out. But then we give the simple answer that it's for the love of the game. And that we live for the practices, parties, pain, cheers, long bus rides, hotel stays, countless pairs of different types of shoes, water, Gatorade, and coaches you hate but appreciate. It's those hours where your team becomes your family, of pushing your body to the limit, and blasting your ipod so that you can't hear yourself breathing that we'll remember and cherish forever.
-Unknown
I don't know what is happening to my brain but it is almost impossible for me to complete a simple task anymore. I'm having to literally force myself to do work. It's worse than before. I'm doing papers the night before. Putting off doing clinical paperwork to do... nothing. Starting my studying the night before a test. (Okay, fine. That one isn't any different.) Last night studying was the worst. I either need to have a dance party every half hour to burn away some energy so I can sit still or I need to listen to music or read quotes while I study. Neither method is what you could call time efficient.
However there is a happy note to this post. I'm finally starting to see the beauty of Point Loma again. You'd think it would be pretty hard to miss but I was missing it. Living off campus it's easy to disconnect from campus. It's actually incredibly easy. But last Tuesday my intramural team and I watched the sun set and the incredible beauty that I'm around almost every day suddenly struck me again. Yeaaah baby.
My advising appointment is on Friday morning. I have to take two full semesters next year and at least one summer school class to graduate on time. Please pray that my schedule will work out and I can graduate on time. :)
This one definitely made me miss volleyball.
Sure theres the wind sprints, suicides, mile runs, max-out days, and months of conditioning that make us wonder why we, as athletes, keep giving 110 percent day in and day out. But then we give the simple answer that it's for the love of the game. And that we live for the practices, parties, pain, cheers, long bus rides, hotel stays, countless pairs of different types of shoes, water, Gatorade, and coaches you hate but appreciate. It's those hours where your team becomes your family, of pushing your body to the limit, and blasting your ipod so that you can't hear yourself breathing that we'll remember and cherish forever.
-Unknown
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
List it baby, list it.
I only had a couple of minutes for an update... so a random list is below!
Waiting to go to play some volleyball (YES!).
It feels like Thursday night when it's only Tuesday night.
Lately my napping has been out of control (no big surprise).
My boyfriend can kick your boyfriend's ass. (Kidding). But he's the absolute best and I thank God every day.
My PE class has a couple of douchebags that I want to slap silly.
I thought dealing with women who are preggers and babies was going to be horrible but it's actually really fun.
Matt Nathanson and The Real Matt Jones. Good music.
My race and ethnicity class is a joke (unfortunately).
New Bible study started this semester = awesome sauce.
Roommate situation = definitely NOT awesome sauce.
Family is doing great... I miss them.
Overall Jillian rating: HAPPY.
--EDIT--
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
-John 16:33
Waiting to go to play some volleyball (YES!).
It feels like Thursday night when it's only Tuesday night.
Lately my napping has been out of control (no big surprise).
My boyfriend can kick your boyfriend's ass. (Kidding). But he's the absolute best and I thank God every day.
My PE class has a couple of douchebags that I want to slap silly.
I thought dealing with women who are preggers and babies was going to be horrible but it's actually really fun.
Matt Nathanson and The Real Matt Jones. Good music.
My race and ethnicity class is a joke (unfortunately).
New Bible study started this semester = awesome sauce.
Roommate situation = definitely NOT awesome sauce.
Family is doing great... I miss them.
Overall Jillian rating: HAPPY.
--EDIT--
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
-John 16:33
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
BIB102 - Mk 5-8
I'm in New Testament this semester. It's a G.E. class, the class is about 90% freshmen, and the professor is very VERY structured... but I love it. Minus the freshmen? Yes. Only kidding. We're going through the book of Mark right now and I decided to post some of what we are reading and my thoughts (mainly questions here).
Last night I read Mark 5-8 (NIV).
Mark 6:4-6 -- Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith.
Why would Jesus be without honor in His hometown? Why in this one area did no one believe? It can't be just coincidence. My guess is that the people who lived there still saw Jesus as the little boy he once was. Could they not reconcile the little toddler they remembered with the man (healer, prophet, "Son of Man") that now stood before them?
Mark 6:14-29. I'm not going to post the passages just because they are long but this is where Herod has John the Baptist beheaded. Was anyone else confused by the placement of this story? It seems so random and like it was just tossed in the mix. What's the significance here?
Mark 7:6-8 -- He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written:
" 'These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men.' You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men."
BAM! Jesus completely destroys the Pharisees (in a loving way? :). This is such a great passage and where I think we all need to be SO careful. It's so easy to fall into a pattern of worship that feels comfortable and completely leave out hearts out of the whole process.
Mark 7:14-23 -- Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, "Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.' "
After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. "Are you so dull?" he asked. "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.")
He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "
This must have been a complete SHOCKER to the Jews in that day. There are whole chapters in the Old Testament that are dedicated to ritual food preparation to make it "clean"... and here Jesus seems to say to forget about them. But don't the Jewish people still have foods that are considered to be "unclean" like pork? Or is that something different?
There are a lot more questions here than anything... but that's what I've been thinking about for the past couple of days. Let me know your thoughts. :)
Last night I read Mark 5-8 (NIV).
Mark 6:4-6 -- Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith.
Why would Jesus be without honor in His hometown? Why in this one area did no one believe? It can't be just coincidence. My guess is that the people who lived there still saw Jesus as the little boy he once was. Could they not reconcile the little toddler they remembered with the man (healer, prophet, "Son of Man") that now stood before them?
Mark 6:14-29. I'm not going to post the passages just because they are long but this is where Herod has John the Baptist beheaded. Was anyone else confused by the placement of this story? It seems so random and like it was just tossed in the mix. What's the significance here?
Mark 7:6-8 -- He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written:
" 'These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men.' You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men."
BAM! Jesus completely destroys the Pharisees (in a loving way? :). This is such a great passage and where I think we all need to be SO careful. It's so easy to fall into a pattern of worship that feels comfortable and completely leave out hearts out of the whole process.
Mark 7:14-23 -- Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, "Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.' "
After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. "Are you so dull?" he asked. "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.")
He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "
This must have been a complete SHOCKER to the Jews in that day. There are whole chapters in the Old Testament that are dedicated to ritual food preparation to make it "clean"... and here Jesus seems to say to forget about them. But don't the Jewish people still have foods that are considered to be "unclean" like pork? Or is that something different?
There are a lot more questions here than anything... but that's what I've been thinking about for the past couple of days. Let me know your thoughts. :)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
2010 Baby... 2010
The new year always comes with a new set of expectations. People thinking the year is going to be great, people thinking the year is going to suck, and people who think the world will end within the year so who really cares about anything.
Oh, what are my expectations you ask? Such a good question my cricket. My expectations for the year 2010 (said twenty-ten, thank you very much)... my expectations are high. I know there will be rough patches and times where it will feel like it would be impossible to get up and try again... but I will. And so will you.
There were no specific new year resolutions made for me this year. But here's what I've been doing and what I'd like to try.
1. As most of you know, I bought a guitar. Yep, it's lovely, blah blah blah. Too bad it hasn't had a good tune played on it yet! Teaching yourself the guitar is harder than I thought. Fortunately a good music teacher for the summer has been found (only $20 for a 30 minute lesson).
2. My longly-lusted-after plan of traveling around Holland/Europe this summer is unfortunately impossible. I need to take some summer school classes so senior year can be as chill as possible. However I still started learning how to speak Dutch. It's slow going but even the slow learning I'm doing gives me satisfaction that Spanish never could have given.
3. More activity. See the next bullet. This Christmas break wasn't horrible as far as activity goes.
4. What I've been doing/would like to do more of are (in no specific order)
- Raquetball (high energy activity... yes please!)
- Kickboxing (again... high energy plus music plus feeling like a badass. It's hard to resist)
- Trampoline jumping (no explanation needed0
- Surfing (yes, early in the morning. or early morning beach runs. The peacefulness/beauty is too much to pass up)
- Basketball (Good time, competition, talking about life, and making someone my HO, HOR, or HORS? I'm all for that action)
- Beach volleyball (It's volleyball)
- Dancing (real dancing, so I can learn how to dance like a black person)
5. Learn and memorize at least 10 "yo momma" jokes to be pulled out at random (but awesome) times.
6. Not just READING my Bible but reading for understanding. Reading for the hidden meaning, reading for a purpose, reading to TRY and understand God better, reading to form my own ideas. It's all deadly in a good way.
7. Eating better, blah blah blah. Here's the real plan: don't buy food that is CRAP for your body. Will I ever give up chocolate? That's a silly question. NO. But eating it less is alllllll good baby.
8. Keep up involvement with my friends’ lives. This semester is going to be much busier than last semester and it’s going to be very easy to not hang out with people because I have other things to do. Yes, I will have certain school obligations but good organization is key to make sure everything stays under control so I CAN hang out. Sophomore year will NOT be repeated.
There's a lot more. But this post is long enough already.
Let me just say... this semester is going to be busy. And fun. And hard (that’s what she said). And the best one ever.
Oh, what are my expectations you ask? Such a good question my cricket. My expectations for the year 2010 (said twenty-ten, thank you very much)... my expectations are high. I know there will be rough patches and times where it will feel like it would be impossible to get up and try again... but I will. And so will you.
There were no specific new year resolutions made for me this year. But here's what I've been doing and what I'd like to try.
1. As most of you know, I bought a guitar. Yep, it's lovely, blah blah blah. Too bad it hasn't had a good tune played on it yet! Teaching yourself the guitar is harder than I thought. Fortunately a good music teacher for the summer has been found (only $20 for a 30 minute lesson).
2. My longly-lusted-after plan of traveling around Holland/Europe this summer is unfortunately impossible. I need to take some summer school classes so senior year can be as chill as possible. However I still started learning how to speak Dutch. It's slow going but even the slow learning I'm doing gives me satisfaction that Spanish never could have given.
3. More activity. See the next bullet. This Christmas break wasn't horrible as far as activity goes.
4. What I've been doing/would like to do more of are (in no specific order)
- Raquetball (high energy activity... yes please!)
- Kickboxing (again... high energy plus music plus feeling like a badass. It's hard to resist)
- Trampoline jumping (no explanation needed0
- Surfing (yes, early in the morning. or early morning beach runs. The peacefulness/beauty is too much to pass up)
- Basketball (Good time, competition, talking about life, and making someone my HO, HOR, or HORS? I'm all for that action)
- Beach volleyball (It's volleyball)
- Dancing (real dancing, so I can learn how to dance like a black person)
5. Learn and memorize at least 10 "yo momma" jokes to be pulled out at random (but awesome) times.
6. Not just READING my Bible but reading for understanding. Reading for the hidden meaning, reading for a purpose, reading to TRY and understand God better, reading to form my own ideas. It's all deadly in a good way.
7. Eating better, blah blah blah. Here's the real plan: don't buy food that is CRAP for your body. Will I ever give up chocolate? That's a silly question. NO. But eating it less is alllllll good baby.
8. Keep up involvement with my friends’ lives. This semester is going to be much busier than last semester and it’s going to be very easy to not hang out with people because I have other things to do. Yes, I will have certain school obligations but good organization is key to make sure everything stays under control so I CAN hang out. Sophomore year will NOT be repeated.
There's a lot more. But this post is long enough already.
Let me just say... this semester is going to be busy. And fun. And hard (that’s what she said). And the best one ever.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Break
It's finally time to dust the cobwebs off this blog, kick start the engine, and get it crankin' again.
A nice overview:
School
- Last semester was hands down the best semester I have had yet. There were still rough patches and areas that I wasn't happy with, but for the most part it was great. And that will continue this semester.
- The more time I spend in the ICU the more I love it and my clinical instructor/professor said I had all the qualities of an ICU nurse. However my specialty is still undecided.
- Can anyone say first semester of all A's??!?!?!?!?!
Friends
- Since volleyball wasn't consuming my life like it had for the first two years, finally some new friends came along.
- Those friends mentioned previously ^ are bomb-diggity, a ton of fun to hang out with, and excellent listeners/advice-givers, shoulders to cry on, etc.
- Game/movie nights/hang out times during Christmas break = SOOOOO GOOOOOOD.
- David... soooooooooo good :) I was honestly never into the mushy-gushy oh-my-boyfriend-is-so-amazing crap (and I'm apologizing now)... but he is amazing. You don't want to hear me gush. Trust me.
- One of my roommates (that I was close to) is going to Malta for spring semester, which of course meant a teary goodbye at the airport.
- There were definitely some roommate issues last semester and I'm pretty sure they will continue this semester. PLEASE pray for patient and wisdom for my house (in SD). We will need lots of help.
Family
- Some of you may or may not know that Liv has been having a lot of health/mental issues. She's been seeing a psychiatrist and doctors. She has a lot of OCD tendencies, separation issues, and weird health quirks (like a dry cough every 20 seconds that she can't seem to control, sore rib, stomach pains...). As of now it looks like her left sinus is completely blocked, which could explain many of her symptoms. The OCD stuff... my Mom had the same thing as a kid so we're just praying that she grows out of it. Prayers for Liv would be LOVELY!
- Praise the Lord! My mom just went through ACL surgery to repair a completely torn ACL and to repair both of her meniscus (menisci?). She's currently sitting in the recliner across from me.
- My Dad's business did well this past year. YAY!!!!
Jesus (pronounced Heh-Sooz, if that makes sense)
- I took a class this semester called Life of Holiness with Dr. Lodahl. It was one of the best classes I have taken at Point Loma. There was reading, quizzes, papers, and tests... but this class was mainly discussion. And discussion = AWESOME sauce. And this class wasn't afraid to talk about "taboo" topics and neither was the professor.
- More than ever I am convinced that almost nothing is black and white. There are SO MANY gray areas in this world. And thinking that doesn't make me a weak person.
- This will sound weird... but the Kingdom is here NOW. Which means that NOW is the time to act.
Next semester is coming up on Monday. NOOOOOOOO! Let's hope we survive!
GOOD LUCK!!
A nice overview:
School
- Last semester was hands down the best semester I have had yet. There were still rough patches and areas that I wasn't happy with, but for the most part it was great. And that will continue this semester.
- The more time I spend in the ICU the more I love it and my clinical instructor/professor said I had all the qualities of an ICU nurse. However my specialty is still undecided.
- Can anyone say first semester of all A's??!?!?!?!?!
Friends
- Since volleyball wasn't consuming my life like it had for the first two years, finally some new friends came along.
- Those friends mentioned previously ^ are bomb-diggity, a ton of fun to hang out with, and excellent listeners/advice-givers, shoulders to cry on, etc.
- Game/movie nights/hang out times during Christmas break = SOOOOO GOOOOOOD.
- David... soooooooooo good :) I was honestly never into the mushy-gushy oh-my-boyfriend-is-so-amazing crap (and I'm apologizing now)... but he is amazing. You don't want to hear me gush. Trust me.
- One of my roommates (that I was close to) is going to Malta for spring semester, which of course meant a teary goodbye at the airport.
- There were definitely some roommate issues last semester and I'm pretty sure they will continue this semester. PLEASE pray for patient and wisdom for my house (in SD). We will need lots of help.
Family
- Some of you may or may not know that Liv has been having a lot of health/mental issues. She's been seeing a psychiatrist and doctors. She has a lot of OCD tendencies, separation issues, and weird health quirks (like a dry cough every 20 seconds that she can't seem to control, sore rib, stomach pains...). As of now it looks like her left sinus is completely blocked, which could explain many of her symptoms. The OCD stuff... my Mom had the same thing as a kid so we're just praying that she grows out of it. Prayers for Liv would be LOVELY!
- Praise the Lord! My mom just went through ACL surgery to repair a completely torn ACL and to repair both of her meniscus (menisci?). She's currently sitting in the recliner across from me.
- My Dad's business did well this past year. YAY!!!!
Jesus (pronounced Heh-Sooz, if that makes sense)
- I took a class this semester called Life of Holiness with Dr. Lodahl. It was one of the best classes I have taken at Point Loma. There was reading, quizzes, papers, and tests... but this class was mainly discussion. And discussion = AWESOME sauce. And this class wasn't afraid to talk about "taboo" topics and neither was the professor.
- More than ever I am convinced that almost nothing is black and white. There are SO MANY gray areas in this world. And thinking that doesn't make me a weak person.
- This will sound weird... but the Kingdom is here NOW. Which means that NOW is the time to act.
Next semester is coming up on Monday. NOOOOOOOO! Let's hope we survive!
GOOD LUCK!!
Monday, October 12, 2009
It hurts...
to type. And write. AND MOOOOOVE. Luckily a small build-up of lactic acid in my muscles won't kill me. Saturday morning I played beach volleyball with a group of girls from last year's volleyball team. It was the first time I had actually exercised since I "fractured" my ankle this summer. It was terribly tiring, very hard, but so much fun!! Feeling "the burn" afterwards only makes it THAT much better. Is that weird?
In news actually related to my life... life is going super duper right now. Do y'all remember reading in English class about the gods who controlled the fates of people? And how they believed that good fortune happened at the top of the wheel but soon enough the gods would spin the wheel and you would end up on the bottom? Obviously, I don't believe all that nonsense but to put it metaphorically it seems as though I am near the top of the wheel just waiting to plummet. Of course not everything is good but a lot of stuff is.
This year is so different and so much less stressful than last year! I am actually enjoying school AND hanging out with friends and making lots of new ones. And having really silly roommate escapades that involve staying up late, Mulan II (OH HECK YES), a freezer, and pictures. It wouldn't be very funny if I explained it, trust me.
I would like to ask for your prayers right now also. We just had a student ministries chapel and there is a medical mission team and it struck a chord with me. Working in the health clinic has really opened my eyes and made me step out of my comfort zone and I can't help but wonder if God was trying to say something to me. I almost skipped chapel this morning and slept in but I woke up early and decided to just go anyways even though I don't have class until after chapel. And then in Life of Holiness we talked about how Jesus showed us a bent-down love (if anyone wants to know what I mean by that PLEASE ask me. It's a super good book) and humbly serves even though He IS the son of God and we should be serving him.
I would continue but I have class in a few minutes. See ya on the flip side!
In news actually related to my life... life is going super duper right now. Do y'all remember reading in English class about the gods who controlled the fates of people? And how they believed that good fortune happened at the top of the wheel but soon enough the gods would spin the wheel and you would end up on the bottom? Obviously, I don't believe all that nonsense but to put it metaphorically it seems as though I am near the top of the wheel just waiting to plummet. Of course not everything is good but a lot of stuff is.
This year is so different and so much less stressful than last year! I am actually enjoying school AND hanging out with friends and making lots of new ones. And having really silly roommate escapades that involve staying up late, Mulan II (OH HECK YES), a freezer, and pictures. It wouldn't be very funny if I explained it, trust me.
I would like to ask for your prayers right now also. We just had a student ministries chapel and there is a medical mission team and it struck a chord with me. Working in the health clinic has really opened my eyes and made me step out of my comfort zone and I can't help but wonder if God was trying to say something to me. I almost skipped chapel this morning and slept in but I woke up early and decided to just go anyways even though I don't have class until after chapel. And then in Life of Holiness we talked about how Jesus showed us a bent-down love (if anyone wants to know what I mean by that PLEASE ask me. It's a super good book) and humbly serves even though He IS the son of God and we should be serving him.
I would continue but I have class in a few minutes. See ya on the flip side!
Monday, September 14, 2009
a SPEEDY update
I don't know what to post yet and I really should be getting to bed because I have clinical tomorrow morning... so I'll go with the obvious.
I'm 21! YEAH BABY!!!!!
My parents and older sister (Nicole) drove down to SD for my bday and we went out to dinner in the Gaslamp district at a mexican food place. It was pretty darn good.
Let me conclude with this: life is good and GOD IS GOOD! :)
I'm 21! YEAH BABY!!!!!
My parents and older sister (Nicole) drove down to SD for my bday and we went out to dinner in the Gaslamp district at a mexican food place. It was pretty darn good.
Let me conclude with this: life is good and GOD IS GOOD! :)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
GAME Night!!!!
I was just thinking about yawning... random, I know. But I found a page full of random yawning facts and/or theories about yawning. Scientists have yet to figure out the real reason for us yawning. The article didn't mention this but did you know that many Olympics athletes yawn right before their event? Pretty sure it's not because they are tired.
Read it HERE
What's my favorite quote from this article? Good question. It is this:
"Wackiest theory award: it’s been suggested that yawning may cool off the brain. Prescription: if you yawn a lot, try thinking less. You is overheating the motherboard."
METEOR SHOWER TONIGHT!!!
Read it HERE
What's my favorite quote from this article? Good question. It is this:
"Wackiest theory award: it’s been suggested that yawning may cool off the brain. Prescription: if you yawn a lot, try thinking less. You is overheating the motherboard."
METEOR SHOWER TONIGHT!!!
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Takamine
Yessssssir... I have finally bought myself a guitar!! It sounds great, looks great, and I got a super duper awesome deal on it. And it'll be here on Monday!!!! Woooohoooooooooo!!!!!
I believe some pictures are in order:
As you can see, the front looks like any normal guitar. Pretty natural wood top, strings, and all that good stuff.
And then you get hit with the back!
This Saturday, I (along with my three amazing roommates) will be signing our lease for our apartment in San Diego! I met with Allyse yesterday to talk about room stuff and on the drive home the sky looked absolutely amazing so I had to take a picture of it.
I believe some pictures are in order:
As you can see, the front looks like any normal guitar. Pretty natural wood top, strings, and all that good stuff.
And then you get hit with the back!
This Saturday, I (along with my three amazing roommates) will be signing our lease for our apartment in San Diego! I met with Allyse yesterday to talk about room stuff and on the drive home the sky looked absolutely amazing so I had to take a picture of it.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Irrefutable, Indisputable
Watch this. Those glasses are FREAKING BOMB! I want them. To make me look even cooler (even though that's not really possible, I'm cool enough already).
Wow. I really don't know what to say right now. And the funny thing is... I've actually been doing stuff! But I guess I don't quite know what to say.
Fun story though. I went with a friend to go test driving Mini Coopers. Why, you may ask? Because they are freaking awesome cars!!!! Have you not SEEN The Italian Job? But anyways, we first went to the one right by my house, but the guy there (David) was really really annoying. So we drove to the one by Newport Beach. And let me tell you, that was the best decision we made. The guy we started talking to there was AMAZING! You could tell that he really really loved the cars (he owned one himself) and we went on the most amazing test drive EVER. Seriously. This guy was the craziest/best driver ever. He took turns that were supposed to be taken at 25mph at at least 50mph. Then my friend drove. That was fun... but it was more fun when I GOT TO DRIVE!!!!! Then we really got to see what it can do. And they say women can't drive...
I've been listening to some country lately. If you have any interest, here's a couple songs.
Kiss a Girl by Keith Urban Cool music video too.
Wild At Heart by Gloriana The blonde one is a little annoying.
It Happens by SugarLand Very country voice, very funny lyrics.
My Front Porch Lookin' In by Lonestar Sooooo cute.
The Best Days of Your Life by Kellie Pickler FUNNY, but a little scary/sad.
Once I regain my words, I'll post again. Enjoy the songs. <3
Wow. I really don't know what to say right now. And the funny thing is... I've actually been doing stuff! But I guess I don't quite know what to say.
Fun story though. I went with a friend to go test driving Mini Coopers. Why, you may ask? Because they are freaking awesome cars!!!! Have you not SEEN The Italian Job? But anyways, we first went to the one right by my house, but the guy there (David) was really really annoying. So we drove to the one by Newport Beach. And let me tell you, that was the best decision we made. The guy we started talking to there was AMAZING! You could tell that he really really loved the cars (he owned one himself) and we went on the most amazing test drive EVER. Seriously. This guy was the craziest/best driver ever. He took turns that were supposed to be taken at 25mph at at least 50mph. Then my friend drove. That was fun... but it was more fun when I GOT TO DRIVE!!!!! Then we really got to see what it can do. And they say women can't drive...
I've been listening to some country lately. If you have any interest, here's a couple songs.
Kiss a Girl by Keith Urban Cool music video too.
Wild At Heart by Gloriana The blonde one is a little annoying.
It Happens by SugarLand Very country voice, very funny lyrics.
My Front Porch Lookin' In by Lonestar Sooooo cute.
The Best Days of Your Life by Kellie Pickler FUNNY, but a little scary/sad.
Once I regain my words, I'll post again. Enjoy the songs. <3
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Grandmas, beer, bluegrass, and a jolly good time.
Tonight, I went with my Grams and her friends to a pizza place where they play live bluegrass music on Saturday nights. It was awkward to get in there comfortably with my crutches, it looked very western-y weird, and I was the youngest adult there... the kids were running around playing video games. And you know what I texted my mom about 5 minutes after I got there? "Oh my gosh. This would be so much more enjoyable if I could drink."
At the time, I meant it. But as the night went on I found myself enjoying it more and more. I like listening to my Grams and her friends. They have some of the greatest stories. And it's so cool to hear about a time when things were so completely different I can't even begin to imagine it. In the car on the way home my Grams and her friend (Dorothy, cool name right?!) talked about how they met their husbands. Both husbands died years ago. And then my Grams and I had a good heart to heart.
Did you know that when our grandparents were growing up there were pretty much three careers for women? Nurse, teacher, or secretary. I don't think either of the women I were with tonight went to college. But I listened to them talking about the opportunities now... and how at the same time, they said they wouldn't change anything they had done. I want to look back on my life and know that I didn't "play it safe." Well, some things need to be played safe but others SHOULDN'T. So that's going to be my food for thought. Because right now, I think I'm playing it safe.
More to come!
Oh and btw, I'm now certified to teach paintball. I can take apart, reassemble, and refill the air tank thing on the paintball gun. The one thing I'm not so good at? Aiming.
At the time, I meant it. But as the night went on I found myself enjoying it more and more. I like listening to my Grams and her friends. They have some of the greatest stories. And it's so cool to hear about a time when things were so completely different I can't even begin to imagine it. In the car on the way home my Grams and her friend (Dorothy, cool name right?!) talked about how they met their husbands. Both husbands died years ago. And then my Grams and I had a good heart to heart.
Did you know that when our grandparents were growing up there were pretty much three careers for women? Nurse, teacher, or secretary. I don't think either of the women I were with tonight went to college. But I listened to them talking about the opportunities now... and how at the same time, they said they wouldn't change anything they had done. I want to look back on my life and know that I didn't "play it safe." Well, some things need to be played safe but others SHOULDN'T. So that's going to be my food for thought. Because right now, I think I'm playing it safe.
More to come!
Oh and btw, I'm now certified to teach paintball. I can take apart, reassemble, and refill the air tank thing on the paintball gun. The one thing I'm not so good at? Aiming.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Aroostasha
Today I had some more training for my new job! I start on June 22 and I'm really hoping to work with 2nd and 3rd graders. So training usually consists of listening to a lot of different scenarios and stories and trying to remember all of the rules that the Y has. Did you know that I'm not allowed to remove a splinter for a kid? There are just some very random rules that I would never think about. But there's also a lot more than that. I've always known that I've been sheltered and I pretty much live in a bubble of sorts. I really want to break that bubble this summer. Tear down the walls and all that good stuff. But I'm so scared (maybe that's too strong a word) that I won't be a good leader/counselor/etc to the kids that come. Not to go by stereotypes and what not but we have been told many times that some of the kids we are watching are already involved with gangs, have seen gang violence happen, have seen other violence happen, can be extremely disrespectful, etc. I don't want to be the counselor that just comes in and tells these kids that everything is just fine... when it obviously isn't. But I have no experience in this. I can't draw on past experiences here. I'm just praying that God will use me in some way this summer, that He will give me guidance when I need it (all the time), and wisdom and words (may they be few) for my kids. So your prayers would be greatly appreciated.
But not all of my thoughts about this summer are worries. We are trying to make summer day camp have more of a "real camp" feel this year. You know, where you sing lots of songs and have a team cabin name and cheer and what not. I love doing songs with the group. Well actually, sometimes I'm a little intimidated doing songs in my training group for two reasons. 1.) Let's face it. I'm not really black (sorry if I fooled you the past 4-6 yrs) so while I do have rhythm it just doesn't compare to the many (real) black people in the group when we put our own (appropriate) moves into the songs. 2. I really do love singing/dancing to camp songs and most of the other people don't seem to enjoy it as much. Jillian = big dork. No surprises there.
Here's one example of a camp song.
Wishy Washy Washer Woman
Super cool right? But seriously, we should sing some camp songs together. It's soooo much fun! Much more fun when you get into it. We should all do one similar to THIS together. Please?
This is a long post, or at least it feels like a longer one. Sorry I hadn't posted in a while. I have two more pieces of small news.
Uno: www.facebook.com/jilliandoorknobs That's right! I managed to snag that beauty!
Dos: my family got a freaking SWEEEEET trampoline! You are all welcome to come and jump on it. I've even put a blanket and pillow on it and read a book. It was very nice.
But not all of my thoughts about this summer are worries. We are trying to make summer day camp have more of a "real camp" feel this year. You know, where you sing lots of songs and have a team cabin name and cheer and what not. I love doing songs with the group. Well actually, sometimes I'm a little intimidated doing songs in my training group for two reasons. 1.) Let's face it. I'm not really black (sorry if I fooled you the past 4-6 yrs) so while I do have rhythm it just doesn't compare to the many (real) black people in the group when we put our own (appropriate) moves into the songs. 2. I really do love singing/dancing to camp songs and most of the other people don't seem to enjoy it as much. Jillian = big dork. No surprises there.
Here's one example of a camp song.
Wishy Washy Washer Woman
Super cool right? But seriously, we should sing some camp songs together. It's soooo much fun! Much more fun when you get into it. We should all do one similar to THIS together. Please?
This is a long post, or at least it feels like a longer one. Sorry I hadn't posted in a while. I have two more pieces of small news.
Uno: www.facebook.com/jilliandoorknobs That's right! I managed to snag that beauty!
Dos: my family got a freaking SWEEEEET trampoline! You are all welcome to come and jump on it. I've even put a blanket and pillow on it and read a book. It was very nice.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I locked myself in...
I thought this looked cute. Plus, it beats the heck outta packing up my life.
How to Do It:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search
(http://www.flickr.com/).
b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker.
Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (
http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php ).
d. Save the image and post it on this note!
The Questions:
1. What is your name? Jillian
2. What is your favorite food? Thanksgiving dinner
3. What is your favorite color? Yellow
4. Favorite drink? Dr. Pepper
5. Dream vacation? Anywhere in Europe really (or Hawaii) but I chose Greece
6. Favorite hobby? I like to express myself through the art of daaaance
7. What you want to be when you grow up? Nurse Practitioner
8. Who is someone you love in life? Family and friends
9. One word to describe you? AWESOME!
:) See ya soon peeps!
How to Do It:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search
(http://www.flickr.com/).
b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker.
Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (
http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php ).
d. Save the image and post it on this note!
The Questions:
1. What is your name? Jillian
2. What is your favorite food? Thanksgiving dinner
3. What is your favorite color? Yellow
4. Favorite drink? Dr. Pepper
5. Dream vacation? Anywhere in Europe really (or Hawaii) but I chose Greece
6. Favorite hobby? I like to express myself through the art of daaaance
7. What you want to be when you grow up? Nurse Practitioner
8. Who is someone you love in life? Family and friends
9. One word to describe you? AWESOME!
:) See ya soon peeps!
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Sleepless
I went to Sleepless in San Diego expecting to be touched by what I heard. I got there at seven and found Jen (an older student in the same year in the nursing program with me) and we started talking. Her kids were at the event too but at the moment they were playing with my professor's two kids. That's PLNU for you. One big family. They were all around the same age, ranging from 13-16 years old. And then I met Patrick, Jen's son. I had heard about him before and even seen this video of him on the Today show. Just talking to him was awesome. And you know what? His words weren't dripping with wisdom. He wasn't talking about deeply philosophical things. But his personality spoke volumes. Letting the other kids make him into a giraffe with cardboard. Laying on the ground with a fort being built around him. Just little things. Anyways, he's an amazing kid (guy) and I just wanted to tell you all a little bit about him in my way that doesn't usually make sense.
Links:
Life Rolls On
Story
Links:
Life Rolls On
Story
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Up in the Air
And I'm saved from the brink of death just in the nick of time!
Alright now... take a minute to mull on this thought. We are almost halfway done with college. Summer might be a little farther away for you than me (I have 2.5 weeks left btw) but the main theme remains. We are almost HALFWAY done with college.
Toss it around in your brain for a bit. Ponder it. I'm in the process of doing that myself.
What have you thought about?
This summer is going to be amazing! I'll be working and taking a couple classes at LBCC and of course hanging out with all the peeps that are coming home for the summer! Woot! I really do have something I want to post about but I have class now so it will have to wait another couple of days for the magic to be posted!
Alright now... take a minute to mull on this thought. We are almost halfway done with college. Summer might be a little farther away for you than me (I have 2.5 weeks left btw) but the main theme remains. We are almost HALFWAY done with college.
Toss it around in your brain for a bit. Ponder it. I'm in the process of doing that myself.
What have you thought about?
This summer is going to be amazing! I'll be working and taking a couple classes at LBCC and of course hanging out with all the peeps that are coming home for the summer! Woot! I really do have something I want to post about but I have class now so it will have to wait another couple of days for the magic to be posted!
Monday, March 30, 2009
I Don't Live in a Dream
EDIT:
UCSD FAILS
Sucks for them!
------
Oh geez. Have you ever felt like so much stuff has happened and, at the same time, almost nothing has happened? That is exactly how I feel right now.
To make this easier for my frazzled mind... I'll make the greatest list known to mankind:
- We (me, Allyse, Sarah, and Renae) were approved for off-campus housing! I'm about 75% sure we will be living in an apartment next year... which means it will be party time all the time! Unless I have to study. So maybe not.
- I got a 92% on my pharmacology test. YES!!! For those of you who don't understand nursing test scores... that's like me scoring a 107% on a regular exam. On my last nursing test I scored and 84% and when I found out I started dancing in the hospital during clinical so you can only imagine what I was doing with a 92%.
- Went out to dinner with a bunch of friends (to Cheesecake Factory) and decided that cheesecake isn't as gross as I once thought. I'd still take a brownie any day though.
- Went the The Rescue screening for Invisible Children! It was tizzzight yo. However I just realized that my gospel choir concert is that weekend in LBC...
-Speaking of gospel choir, we performed at a national conference. And it was freaking amazing.
- I did the "booty slap" in kickboxing class. That's right.
- Finally organized all of my flashcards! I now have two very pretty grey boxes full of flash cards. That is how I keep my sanity.
- I finally saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Role Models. Role Models = a boatload of cursing. Pretty funny though. Forgetting Sarah Marshall = funny but also dirty. Definitely some uncomfortable scenes. There's also male nudity (yes frontal) but nothing I haven't seen in the hospital...
- Talked to an amazingly cool Russian lady (Anna - pronounced Awn-yah) about her culture. I'll post about that later.
I'm feeling so great right now! Seriously. I feel like I'm finally on the road to... something good. I don't quite know what it is yet but I'm liking the journey.
Maybe more has changed than I originally thought.
Disjointed post, I realize but I'll post another (non-disjointed) one soon.
UCSD FAILS
Sucks for them!
------
Oh geez. Have you ever felt like so much stuff has happened and, at the same time, almost nothing has happened? That is exactly how I feel right now.
To make this easier for my frazzled mind... I'll make the greatest list known to mankind:
- We (me, Allyse, Sarah, and Renae) were approved for off-campus housing! I'm about 75% sure we will be living in an apartment next year... which means it will be party time all the time! Unless I have to study. So maybe not.
- I got a 92% on my pharmacology test. YES!!! For those of you who don't understand nursing test scores... that's like me scoring a 107% on a regular exam. On my last nursing test I scored and 84% and when I found out I started dancing in the hospital during clinical so you can only imagine what I was doing with a 92%.
- Went out to dinner with a bunch of friends (to Cheesecake Factory) and decided that cheesecake isn't as gross as I once thought. I'd still take a brownie any day though.
- Went the The Rescue screening for Invisible Children! It was tizzzight yo. However I just realized that my gospel choir concert is that weekend in LBC...
-Speaking of gospel choir, we performed at a national conference. And it was freaking amazing.
- I did the "booty slap" in kickboxing class. That's right.
- Finally organized all of my flashcards! I now have two very pretty grey boxes full of flash cards. That is how I keep my sanity.
- I finally saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Role Models. Role Models = a boatload of cursing. Pretty funny though. Forgetting Sarah Marshall = funny but also dirty. Definitely some uncomfortable scenes. There's also male nudity (yes frontal) but nothing I haven't seen in the hospital...
- Talked to an amazingly cool Russian lady (Anna - pronounced Awn-yah) about her culture. I'll post about that later.
I'm feeling so great right now! Seriously. I feel like I'm finally on the road to... something good. I don't quite know what it is yet but I'm liking the journey.
Maybe more has changed than I originally thought.
Disjointed post, I realize but I'll post another (non-disjointed) one soon.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Epiphanies occur at random times!
In nursing school we are taught how to take care of our patients in the hospital. We are taught about diseases and their manifestations, their complications, and how to effectively manage or treat them. We’re taught how to position and reposition patients in their beds, how to give a proper bed bath, how to correctly administer drugs. We practice in the clinical lab. There are five beds and five dummies. Five curtains, five bedside tables, five O2 machines.
But here’s the thing… that’s not how life really is! Diseases manifest differently in each patient, complications arise with no warning, and it’s much harder to reposition that 250 lb COPD patient than it was to reposition your 140lb healthy classmate. Bed baths will always be uncomfortable for you and the recipient, and your patient will never act like a dummy unless he or she is unconscious and then you’ve got a problem on your hands.
LIFE IS MESSY!
I don’t know how many times I’ve said/thought that but just five minutes ago I had this epiphany. Life is messy. And it’s not going to get any un-messier. This doesn’t just go for the hospital setting. Friendships, relationships, school, work, family, what have you… it’s all not going to be black and white. Personally, I like black and white. I like knowing what is right and what is wrong. I’m also always right. So this whole “life is messy” thing can seriously mess with my mind. And it has, it currently is, and it will in the future.
And even though I wish everything was black and white with no shades of grey, if I force myself to try and see objectively, I think that would take a lot of the fun out of life. Take relationships as an example. Without those shades of grey… where would the fun be? I think the fights, the cuddling, the good times, the bad times, the boring times, the sad times, and all the times in between are what make a relationship so special. That goes for our relationship with God. What fun would it be if we had a set of very specific guidelines to follow to make our way to Jesus? No fun! And we don’t. God made it that way for a reason!
So, life is messy. But here’s the thing, I’m not going to stop my life and try to make it black and white. I’m not going to drive myself crazy trying to figure out the “right” way to do something. That’s a waste of time. And it prevents my ability to change and adapt to life. I don’t want my life to get stuck in a routine. Don’t get me wrong here, routine can be a good thing but routine can also stop you from experiencing all of the joy that life has to offer. Routine can stop you from truly appreciating this AMAZING world that God created for us. It can stop us from being amazed by God ALL THE TIME even though we should be. And it can stop us from meeting new people, from trying new opportunities that come along, and from opening ourselves up to others and experiencing the joy and pain that comes with it.
I’ll end with some quotes. Yes, there is one from Grey’s Anatomy. Just because I know how much you all love it.
“Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop
Doesn’t mean I will cross.”
-Lost! By Coldplay
“Knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying.”
“Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. So, you can waste your life drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.”
-Grey’s Anatomy
And I was just reading this verse the other night and I just wanted to share it, especially during this time of Lent.
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?”
Mark 8:34-37
But here’s the thing… that’s not how life really is! Diseases manifest differently in each patient, complications arise with no warning, and it’s much harder to reposition that 250 lb COPD patient than it was to reposition your 140lb healthy classmate. Bed baths will always be uncomfortable for you and the recipient, and your patient will never act like a dummy unless he or she is unconscious and then you’ve got a problem on your hands.
LIFE IS MESSY!
I don’t know how many times I’ve said/thought that but just five minutes ago I had this epiphany. Life is messy. And it’s not going to get any un-messier. This doesn’t just go for the hospital setting. Friendships, relationships, school, work, family, what have you… it’s all not going to be black and white. Personally, I like black and white. I like knowing what is right and what is wrong. I’m also always right. So this whole “life is messy” thing can seriously mess with my mind. And it has, it currently is, and it will in the future.
And even though I wish everything was black and white with no shades of grey, if I force myself to try and see objectively, I think that would take a lot of the fun out of life. Take relationships as an example. Without those shades of grey… where would the fun be? I think the fights, the cuddling, the good times, the bad times, the boring times, the sad times, and all the times in between are what make a relationship so special. That goes for our relationship with God. What fun would it be if we had a set of very specific guidelines to follow to make our way to Jesus? No fun! And we don’t. God made it that way for a reason!
So, life is messy. But here’s the thing, I’m not going to stop my life and try to make it black and white. I’m not going to drive myself crazy trying to figure out the “right” way to do something. That’s a waste of time. And it prevents my ability to change and adapt to life. I don’t want my life to get stuck in a routine. Don’t get me wrong here, routine can be a good thing but routine can also stop you from experiencing all of the joy that life has to offer. Routine can stop you from truly appreciating this AMAZING world that God created for us. It can stop us from being amazed by God ALL THE TIME even though we should be. And it can stop us from meeting new people, from trying new opportunities that come along, and from opening ourselves up to others and experiencing the joy and pain that comes with it.
I’ll end with some quotes. Yes, there is one from Grey’s Anatomy. Just because I know how much you all love it.
“Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop
Doesn’t mean I will cross.”
-Lost! By Coldplay
“Knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying.”
“Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. So, you can waste your life drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.”
-Grey’s Anatomy
And I was just reading this verse the other night and I just wanted to share it, especially during this time of Lent.
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?”
Mark 8:34-37
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